A Sore Topic

(Originally posted February 2021)

It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post. To be honest, it’s been hard to put fingers to keys both mentally and physically.

I’ve been struggling a little with a behavior that I’ve had on and off for most of my life. It’s called Dermatillomania, compulsive skin picking/biting essentially. Sometimes I don’t even notice I’m doing it, my youngest son has taken to chastising me for any suspicious looking movements which has certainly drawn my attention to how much more I’m damaging my own skin recently.

A lot of us have struggled this past year. Lock down after lock down, home schooling, loneliness, health anxiety and, most recently, gloomy winter vibes have been rough for so many. I’ve put on a brave face through being terrified that one of my medically vulnerable sons, my amazingly strong husband or my medically vulnerable self will catch Covid-19. I’ve pushed away the loneliness, missing family and friends, missing the bustle of just being around… everything. I’ve looked forward with hope through solitary birthdays, cancelled holidays, redundancy, cancelled A-Levels and sadly losing people. I’ve worried through long night time hours for my best friends, NHS staff, school staff, key workers, shop workers and pregnant friends. Most of this I feel like I’ve been coping with relatively OK but since being unable to leave my flat due to a faulty lift for so long for even a breath of fresh air, things have really stated to take their toll.

I guess this is my brain’s way of coping with the stress. It eats at me like I eat at myself.

I am aware of my situation and have had some lovely talks with friends who are experiencing or have loved ones experiencing similar compulsions. I am taking steps to make myself feel better, less anxious and I have wonderful support around me.

How are you coping in these harsh times? Let me know below if you’d like to chat.